the entry about douchebag-ism much

we all like to think that we are better than the next person; nary one would ever think of himself as a, for the lack of a better word, shithead. but admit it, from time to time, we mess up and end up being the epitome of a sorry loser. what are the tell-tale signs of being a douchebag you say? well, read on.

1. whilst some things could go hand in hand, texting and conversations just do not. it's hard to have a decent conversation when half the time you're looking down at your mobile and rapidly thumbing away. whilst you're trying to impress the other party that you're capable of multi-tasking, the implicit fact to them is, you're just a douchebag. (i'm guilty of that too.) douche-meter: 2 out of 5

2. movie talkers are a classic breed of what i would call, platinum douchebags. they express their thoughts out loud or revel in revealing the plot-lines, or explain the storyline of the movie to their fellow movie-mates. here's some examples: "ok, here's where julia's going to take the knife and stab him from behind.", or when watching a comedy, *points* "haha! that's so funny!" douche-meter: 3 out of 5

3. while some looks are a precarious fence-sitter between fashion fineness and fashion flop,

over-the-top embellished prints on shirt and trucker caps courtesy of ed hardy are clearly way off the spectrum when it comes to fashion faux pas. if you're caught like a deer in headlights donning these sequined, campy graphic gear and think you're cool, you're in line to be the next giant cosmic douchebag. douche-meter: 3 out of 5

4. somewhere between fluffy light-heartedness and extreme hedonism, there's an entire caste of people who, for a better reason or not, choose to use animal/cartoon/scenic pictures in place of their profile pictures on social networking sites. whilst you might be clueing to others you're as cute as elmo or like a summer breeze in spring, a profile picture is called a profile picture for a good reason. spare us the agony of metaphorical decipherment of your level of douche-ism. douche-meter: 2 out of 5

5. oh-so-haughty elitists ought to be shot in the gonads. period. they think everyone is beneath them when in fact, they really need to be looking hard at themselves. if you subscribe to such ideology, congratulations, you have the hallmarks of being a major douchebag. douche-meter: 5 out of 5.

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