this nifty little gadget was found next to a usual toilet paper holder.
it's basic purpose is to discharge disinfecting liquid for sanitizing toilet seats.
what's next for our pathogen-fearing bathroom visitors?
ass-wiping bidets?
4 years ago
Friday, June 27, 2008
the entry about trivial cleanliness
venue: singapore changi airport terminal 3
this nifty little gadget was found next to a usual toilet paper holder.
it's basic purpose is to discharge disinfecting liquid for sanitizing toilet seats.
what's next for our pathogen-fearing bathroom visitors?
ass-wiping bidets?
this nifty little gadget was found next to a usual toilet paper holder.
it's basic purpose is to discharge disinfecting liquid for sanitizing toilet seats.
what's next for our pathogen-fearing bathroom visitors?
ass-wiping bidets?
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
the entry about a bad day
patience is a virtue that isn't exactly my main winsome trait. close to an hour of waiting for my friend raymond in particulate-soaked, dingy shopping complex, or the lesser known lucky plaza, my innards were at stratospheric boiling point and i was about to fly into a frenzied rage. the presence of the ubiquitous "pee-li-pee-nas" (read: filipinos) on sunday afternoons didn't help much either. oblivious to their immediate surroundings, this special breed of homo sapiens are the equivalent of the chiropteran bats: they engage in ultrasonic chatter that hurt our ears, throng the areas in raucous groups and congregate in squalid, seedy habitats (that is of said shopping complex).
under such circumstances, the order of the day was to avert my anger into positive, dalai lama energy. what better way to appease myself than to scout for the best merchandise, i thought. i had decided within the next moment that i wanted a sony playstation 3. genius! i trudged around and thereupon found myself standing in front of a rundown gaming shop and a salesman of questionable integrity looming behind the counter. the corpulent mister had squinty eyes, pockmarked complexion, and when he smiled his insincere, crooked smile you could see the gold-filled teeth in place of where the real ones were. as if that wasn't charming enough, he wore tight flannel trousers that showed off his hairy shanks and chubby ass-cheeks.
during the transition that led to my purchase of the playstation from this wholesome-looking swindler, it was all a blur. the grubby salesman certainly knew his way around me, the new fish waiting to be trolled. the price he quoted me was $550, but that would be prior to 7% sales tax (many thanks to our thoughtful parliament). the console was supposedly a local set, which yielded a one-year warranty. an "export set" would have been more affordable, sans the warrantee though. his advice was to stick with the local set, even though it was pricier. when i asked him to throw in a game for the console set, his hobbit hands jabbed fervently at his calculator again and showed me a figure i was convinced i had cut a good deal.
i went home lugging the impossibly heavy console box, happy to have made a reasonable haggle for both parties. i unearthed the console from within the cavern, styrofoam and all, only to realise i have been had for: the warranty was nowhere to be found! he was definitely not going to get away with that. tomorrow, the mess-er shall be the mess-ee!
as if that wasn't marvelous enough, one final pisser of the day was certainly a cherry on top of a fantastic day: my one and only pair of plastic-rimmed glasses gave way and became a two-piece article.
under such circumstances, the order of the day was to avert my anger into positive, dalai lama energy. what better way to appease myself than to scout for the best merchandise, i thought. i had decided within the next moment that i wanted a sony playstation 3. genius! i trudged around and thereupon found myself standing in front of a rundown gaming shop and a salesman of questionable integrity looming behind the counter. the corpulent mister had squinty eyes, pockmarked complexion, and when he smiled his insincere, crooked smile you could see the gold-filled teeth in place of where the real ones were. as if that wasn't charming enough, he wore tight flannel trousers that showed off his hairy shanks and chubby ass-cheeks.
during the transition that led to my purchase of the playstation from this wholesome-looking swindler, it was all a blur. the grubby salesman certainly knew his way around me, the new fish waiting to be trolled. the price he quoted me was $550, but that would be prior to 7% sales tax (many thanks to our thoughtful parliament). the console was supposedly a local set, which yielded a one-year warranty. an "export set" would have been more affordable, sans the warrantee though. his advice was to stick with the local set, even though it was pricier. when i asked him to throw in a game for the console set, his hobbit hands jabbed fervently at his calculator again and showed me a figure i was convinced i had cut a good deal.
i went home lugging the impossibly heavy console box, happy to have made a reasonable haggle for both parties. i unearthed the console from within the cavern, styrofoam and all, only to realise i have been had for: the warranty was nowhere to be found! he was definitely not going to get away with that. tomorrow, the mess-er shall be the mess-ee!
this half-dome shaped hulking receptacle adds nought a touch of class to my zen finery.
as if that wasn't marvelous enough, one final pisser of the day was certainly a cherry on top of a fantastic day: my one and only pair of plastic-rimmed glasses gave way and became a two-piece article.
lost and found: willy wonka wants his mono-templed speckies back.
Monday, June 23, 2008
the entry that made my dad sit up
my dad and i were lounging in our living room watching rehashes of horse matches on our googlebox (yes, my dad's an avid gambler and i am the suffer-in-silence victim as his stallion-watching sidekick, behind choked tears) when mr. postman arrived at our door, armed with bundles of mail.
amidst the sea of brown envelopes and manilas the postman greeted us with (and advertising tripe no less), my dad fished out the utilities bill from the pile and ripped it open. i would have have expected no more than a cursory glance as his eyes darted through the figures, when he shoved the letter in my face. i was met with a letter that read the following: $585.06 for electricity , $67.21 for water, etc. total damage: $728.45!
action sequence: dad's blase countenance eroding into purple lividness.
action sequence: dad's arms flailing in the air.
action sequence: dad launching in a tirade, chockful of expletives
outcome: i've been barred from the luxury of having air-conditioned rooms 24/7. curse the folks at singapore power services!
amidst the sea of brown envelopes and manilas the postman greeted us with (and advertising tripe no less), my dad fished out the utilities bill from the pile and ripped it open. i would have have expected no more than a cursory glance as his eyes darted through the figures, when he shoved the letter in my face. i was met with a letter that read the following: $585.06 for electricity , $67.21 for water, etc. total damage: $728.45!
action sequence: dad's blase countenance eroding into purple lividness.
action sequence: dad's arms flailing in the air.
action sequence: dad launching in a tirade, chockful of expletives
outcome: i've been barred from the luxury of having air-conditioned rooms 24/7. curse the folks at singapore power services!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
the entry that's all about 7
i think the tourism industry is out to screw us over. from time to time, they'd scour the vestiges of the land to give us their ever-changing 7 wonders.
as if we didn't have enough on our plate with the 7 wonders of the ancient world and the 7 wonders of the modern world, the organisation (yes, apparently there's an organisation) announced the new 7 wonders of the world.
i am beginning to suspect a cartel in covert operation, attempting to milk us of every dollar on ancient ruins and industrial marvels.
since i had time on my hands, i had concocted my very own accessible and inexpensive 7 wonders. they are, by no means, in order of preference.
as if we didn't have enough on our plate with the 7 wonders of the ancient world and the 7 wonders of the modern world, the organisation (yes, apparently there's an organisation) announced the new 7 wonders of the world.
can you figure out what these new wonders are?
i am beginning to suspect a cartel in covert operation, attempting to milk us of every dollar on ancient ruins and industrial marvels.
since i had time on my hands, i had concocted my very own accessible and inexpensive 7 wonders. they are, by no means, in order of preference.
1. underwear.
it simply spells snug comfort,
and mishaps like the ben stiller brouhaha
in there's something about mary would be a thing of the past.
for those who oft experience skid marks,
try exercising usage of more TP,
or choose a tone of underwear suited to the color of your stool.
boxers?
or briefs?
2. sleeping pills (or other other pills, for that matter).
i have problems performing at night on the bed.
no, it has nothing to do with ED,
but more of anxiety-induced-sleep-problems.
therein lies stilnox for the quickfix.
these round little pills are nuggets of joy.
3. sarah jessica parker.
lo and behold,
the sultry temptress of fashion,
last seen in sex and the city: the movie.
it's not that the likes of lindsay lohans and paris hiltons aren't good
(i am hearing fervent protests already),
but it's just that they weren't even there when SJP was on top of her game.
be it standing or lying, hats off to SJP for making every picture worth a million.
4. well i do it all the time,
but screening calls helps me veer off direct contact with said caller,
especially if said caller comes on the line all cheery
just because he/she's out to peddle a product for said caller's company.
kudos to caller id.
5. uniforms,
and it's only just because i can spot a parking attendant a mile away.
what with their beige shirt, navy pants, straw hat and tudung
(wait, that last bit isn't part of the deal, is it?),
the presence of parking pontianaks,
with their little sleek black gizmo
(their version of iphones),
marks ominous fines for many.
6. toothpaste,
for a clean, minty breath.
when i met up with my friend last week,
i thought he had his teeth polished and whitened.
turns out he's been using pearl drops.
i am switching immediately.
7. ice cream.
ben n jerry's chocolate chip cookie dough.
'nuff said.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
the entry that started it all
under jeremy's egging, today i decided to do something about it. i had, after months of procrastination, conjured enough momentum to start my first blog.
while i had, of late, displayed complete nonchalance towards my work, my pioneering attempt at blogging, on the other hand, was quite the opposite. i had drafted several copies mentally, brewed a pot of fresh coffee to perk myself, and bookmarked a number of blogs for reference.
however, much to my own chagrin, my endeavors has been met with utter frustration. short from tearing my hair out, i spent 90% of the time glowering over the rim of my abuse-once-more-and-it's-gonna-break glasses trying to figure out all the techno babble.
unfortunately i had fallen behind times. it didn't occur to me that blogging turned out to be quite the puzzle that "the older generation would never comprehend". Did i belong to the bracket that checked "30-and-above" on survey forms? (i am not even 30 yet!) bah, i was about to spit at the monitor.
i decided to press on, though, and applied whatever remnants of html knowledge i still had on my new project. from time to time, i managed to see some glimmer of hope, and other times, i was just staring blankly at a screen that didn't reciprocate my tries.
after the arduous task deciphering the code for (god forbid) the umpteenth time, i was left with but one task: to choose the layout of my blog. the following are the winning (read: not-so-winning) entries:
finally, i settled with the current one. it would be what my friend, rex, might label "chic". now, is it?
while i had, of late, displayed complete nonchalance towards my work, my pioneering attempt at blogging, on the other hand, was quite the opposite. i had drafted several copies mentally, brewed a pot of fresh coffee to perk myself, and bookmarked a number of blogs for reference.
however, much to my own chagrin, my endeavors has been met with utter frustration. short from tearing my hair out, i spent 90% of the time glowering over the rim of my abuse-once-more-and-it's-gonna-break glasses trying to figure out all the techno babble.
unfortunately i had fallen behind times. it didn't occur to me that blogging turned out to be quite the puzzle that "the older generation would never comprehend". Did i belong to the bracket that checked "30-and-above" on survey forms? (i am not even 30 yet!) bah, i was about to spit at the monitor.
i decided to press on, though, and applied whatever remnants of html knowledge i still had on my new project. from time to time, i managed to see some glimmer of hope, and other times, i was just staring blankly at a screen that didn't reciprocate my tries.
after the arduous task deciphering the code for (god forbid) the umpteenth time, i was left with but one task: to choose the layout of my blog. the following are the winning (read: not-so-winning) entries:
nice, but all the entries are squashed under a single column.
this resembles a forum/obituary more than a blog.
i had problems toggling the column widths, i just gave up on this one.
finally, i settled with the current one. it would be what my friend, rex, might label "chic". now, is it?
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